I predicted yesterday that I would not be surprised by machete-wielding elephants on the North Side, so I was caught off guard by my bed being shaken at 4:30 this morning by (wait for it) an earthquake. That was a surprise. This makes for an adventurous cougar and an act of God, which means that the plague of locusts can't be far behind. I will be slaughtering a bull (name: Chuck) on the steps of the Art Institute at 2:00 today to offer sacrifice to our vengeful God in hopes of showing a willingness to atone for our iniquities.
I will also be driving to Cleveland, Ohio, next weekend to hear Pierre-Laurent Aimard play Bartók's Second Piano Concerto and Peter Eötvös's new Concerto for Two Pianos with the Cleveland Orchestra, and it's my hope that Chicago has not been visited by, say, mudslides and/or flesh-eating zombies between now and then.