Yesterday, a CTA subway train got stuck underground due to a "mechanical failure," according to the CTA, with 1,500 people needing to be evacuated from the Blue Line during rush hour.
On National Income Tax Day, the Chicago police shot and killed a cougar on the North Side. (Animal control? Not how we do things here. h/t Whet Moser) And word comes today that another cougar may be loose nearby, with a nice look back to the deceased:
"Investigators are still trying to determine if the cougar shot Monday by police was an escaped pet or a wild animal that wandered into the area -- possibly from South Dakota, the nearest location where the predators live naturally." [emphasis added]
When wild, predatory cats are migrating 800 miles to feast on city folk, that's generally a pretty good time to get the heck out of Dodge. And it is a good idea to get the heck out of Dodge, anyway, because it's located in nearby North Dakota.
I won't be the least surprised to read tomorrow that elephants wielding machetes were slashing at commuters' ankles as they stood on the platforms, waiting for their above-ground Red Line trains to arrive. (The commuters' trains, I mean, not the elephants'.) Does anyone know if the CPD have elephant guns, though? Do we go nuclear at that point? Apocalypse now!!!